Ruined
by WritingtoPasstheTime
Summary: Kendall is the dumb hockey player who is tutored by the school nerd. The nerd has an abusive boyfriend who happens to be Kendall's friend. What happens when he develops feelings for the abused girlfriend? What if it's too late to help her?
1. Meeting

**So new story! This won the poll I believe and you guys voted Jett to be the abuser. I want everyone to know that by no means do I want people to feel uncomfortable. Being abused is terrible and I don't want to offend anyone. If I take it too far, let me know. I will try and post warnings about when it becomes physical at the beginning of the chapter so you can decide if you want to read it or not. This is a different type of story I'm trying so please give it a chance! This chapter is okay, it'll get better as the chapters go along. Please review and let me know what you think. **

"Mr. Knight, please stay after class." My math teacher called. I grabbed my books and headed up to his desk.

"What's going on Mr. Simpson?"

"You're failing my class."

"What? No, I need to pass. I'm captain of the hockey team."

"I know which is why I've found you a tutor."

"Who is it?"

"Hayley Shea."

"Jett's girlfriend…yeah I know her."

"She said she'd talk to you at some point today to set up a schedule. There's a test next week so prepare accordingly."

"Thank you." I gave him a smile before I headed off towards my locker. I was switching books at my locker before heading to lunch when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned and came face to face with Hayley.

"Hey, did Mr. Simpson talk to you?"

"Yeah he did tutor." I sent a smirk in her direction.

"I can meet with you any day, whenever is easy for you."

"I need a lot of help so…let's meet Tuesdays and Thursdays at 6. I'll come after hockey practice."

"That's a good idea. My mom works late those days anyway."

"You heading to lunch now?"

"Just have to stop at my locker. I need my sweater."

"I'll go with you."

"Such a gentleman." She giggled as I shut my locker and headed towards her locker.

"Does Jett know you'll be tutoring me?" I didn't miss the way she tensed when I said his name.

"I don't think I'll tell him just yet."

"Why not?"

"I want to tutor you on those days, not you and Jett. He'd want to be there and I know you won't focus with him there."

"Good point. Do you have everything you need?"

"Yeah but I forgot my lunch money cuz I'm stupid." She gave a shrug and I laughed as we made our way to the cafeteria.

"I'll buy you lunch as a way of thanking you. Tutoring me is going to be hard."

"I like challenges." She said as we got on line. I bought us some chicken nuggets and two water bottles.

"Do you want a cookie?"

"Would you think I'm fat if I did?"

"You'll never be fat."

"Jett doesn't let me eat cookies because he thinks I'll get heavy and not be attractive."

"Well he's an ass." I said as I bought us some cookies. I paid and then headed over to our lunch table. She sat next to Jett, who promptly wrapped an arm around her, and I handed her her lunch.

"You bought her lunch?"

"I forgot my money." She said as she nibbled on her chicken.

"You could have come to me."

"She's going to be tutoring me in math so I did that as a thank you."

"Couldn't you find another tutor? She's my girlfriend."

"She was assigned to me."

"It's no big deal Jett."

"When are you going to meet up?"

"Tuesdays and Thursdays and no you cannot come." She said and I saw anger flicker through Jett's eyes.

"We'll talk about this later." Jett whispered to her but I could hear it. Nobody else seemed to notice.

"So….big game next week.

**XxXxXxXxXxXx**

I threw my hockey bag in my trunk and got into the driver's seat Thursday night. I was heading over to Hayley's house but figured I should pick up some food. I quickly picked up a pizza pie then headed to her house. I brought my book bag in with the pizza as I knocked on her door.

"Hey, come in. You brought pizza." She smiled and I nodded. We set up in the kitchen and she grabbed some plates.

"I'm starving and I figured you would be hungry."

"You would be correct. Do you want a soda?"

"please." We sat and talked a bit while eating pizza.

"Are you serious?"

"Jett told me not to bring anything and to make sure I was done by 6:15." I said.

"He's an idiot."

"He's great at hockey though."

"That's why he's co-captain." She said and I nodded.

"I don't get what I have to do with these circles." I told her a few minutes later. She explained it to me and made me do some extra problems. It was 7:30 by the time we finished.

"God, I'm tired." I mumbled as I packed up my bag.

"The games on…do you want to watch?"

"I would love that." I said and sat next to her. She was screaming at the TV more than I was.

"I'm impressed." I commented.

"Why?"

"You like hockey and you know what's going on in the game. Usually girls don't."

"Well Jett forces me to watch them and I started actually liking them."

"Who's your favorite team?"

"I like the Rangers."

"Boo, Islanders all the way." I said as she shook her head. We were sitting watching the game, leaning on each other when her front door opened.

"Jett, what are you doing here?"

"You haven't been answering your phone so I came to make sure you were okay." he said as he glared at me.

"I'm fine; I just left my phone in the kitchen. It's on vibrate so…" she trailed off but she was a little tense.

"I should go. Thanks for the help Hayley. I'll see you guys tomorrow." I sent a small smile towards Hayley and quickly grabbed my things and ran to the car.

**XxXxxxXxXxX**

"Hey Hayley." I greeted as I stood at her locker.

"Hey." She mumbled. She flicked some air over her shoulder and I noticed a large bruise on her neck.

"What's wrong with your neck?"

Her hand flew up to cover the bruise. "Oh…you know…Jett likes me to have hickeys. He likes to show that I belong to him."

"Yeah…" I said, not truly believing her. Hickeys aren't in the shape of a hand.

"Kendall, what are you doing with Hayley?" Jett asked as he wrapped an arm around her. His grip was tight and I didn't miss her wince.

"Just saying hello. Thought I'd be nice."

"Well Hayley has to come with me for a moment. I have something to do." Jett said with a fake smile. He slammed her locker as he practically pulled her down the hallway.

**XxXxXxXx**

At lunch I saw Jett and Hayley buying lunch and Hayley looking upset.

"Hey, guys, do you think Jett is mean?" I asked the table.

"No, he's a great person. Why are you asking?" James asked.

"No reason." I mumbled as I saw Hayley quickly wipe some tears as Jett pulled her to another table, across the cafeteria, away from us. Away from me.

**Let me know what you think! Every review makes me smile! **


	2. A Threat

**I want to thank you guys for all the reviews! They mean a lot to me! I hope this chapter grabs your attention. There isn't that much abuse in it. I feel weird writing that because it's such a touchy subject. I don't want to offend anyone. I hope you like it and review!**

**WARNING: some abuse, nothing too extreme. **

I walked down the hall after hockey practice towards my locker. I had forgotten my chemistry textbook. At the same time, I was trying to find my cell in my backpack so I could call Hayley to make sure we were still on for tutoring tonight. I finally got my phone and quickly dialed her number.

"Hello?"

"Hey, are we still on for tonight?"

"Uh… I don't think it's a good idea."

"Why not? I really don't understand tonight's homework."

"I'm sorry but Jett just came over and he wants to have a date night."

"Can we move the session to tomorrow night?"

"Uh…sure. Just don't tell Jett." She whispered the last part.

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow."

"I'm sorry Kendall." Was the last thing she said before she hung up.

I grabbed my books and then headed towards my car. I spent an hour just doing my math ditto that night.

**XxXxXxXxXxX**

"Kendall…" Hayley meekly said. I was at my locker getting some books the next day before classes.

"Hayley, hey, what's up?"

"I just wanted to apologize about yesterday. I came early today so if you want to go over your homework we can."

"That'd be great." I nodded. She sat down next to my locker and a few minutes later I plopped down next to her. I handed her my sheet and she grabbed a pencil.

"You got most of them correct. Here's where you made your mistakes." She explained them to me and I eventually understood what I was supposed to do.

"This makes so much more sense. I felt like an idiot doing them last night."

"You have to have more faith in yourself." She said.

"On the ice I have all the confidence in the world but when it comes to school…I just feel so inferior."

"Relate the school work to hockey. Change the math word problems into something hockey related. Change history into hockey history."

"That's not a bad idea."

"I do that in classes I don't understand."

"You're a genius. What class could you possibly find hard?" I asked with a chuckle.

"lunch." She deadpanned.

"A sense of humor, cute."

"Why thank you." She smiled.

"What's going on here?" Jett said.

"She's just helping me with my homework."  
"No, I think you were flirting with my girlfriend."

"Calm down Jett." Hayley said as she stood up.

"I will not come down when my girlfriend is out being a whore."

"Hey, calm down." I said as I stood next to Hayley.

"Go wait for me by my locker." He told Hayley and she gave me a small smile before leaving.

"What the fuck is your problem?" I asked Jett.

"Don't talk to my girlfriend, don't look at her and go find another tutor." He said before he stomped off. I sneakily followed behind Jett. I watched as he pulled her into an empty hallway. I got close enough so I could hear them but they wouldn't see me.

"Don't you dare talk to Kendall ever again or you will get worse than you got yesterday."

"You're hurting me." Hayley whimpered.

"Good, a whore like you deserves it. You think you can prance around and flirt with anyone but you can't. I'm your boyfriend, you belong to me." He said before he slapped her. I winced at the sound. Hayley grabbed her cheek and went to retaliate but Jett grabbed her hands and pinned them to the wall.

"I wouldn't think about it. I'm not afraid to hurt you worse." He said before he stomped away. Hayley took a few minutes to regain her composure before she started heading towards my direction. I acted like I was talking to someone but I ended up talking to a kid I'd never seen before.

"Hayley!" I called after I let her get through the hallway a bit more.

"Oh…hi…I can't talk right now."

"Yes, you can. Come with me." I said as I put my hand on the small of her back and brought her into an empty classroom.

"Kendall…if Jett sees…"

"I don't care. Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" she asked with a nervous chuckle.

"He called you a whore and that's not a nice thing to say."

"It's fine. I'm used to it." She said with a sigh.

"Do you need to tell me anything or do you want me to say something?" I asked as I reached out and gently placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Nope, I don't have anything to say. I really should be getting to class." She said. She reached down to get her book and I saw a huge bruise on her lower back.

"What happened to your back?"

"Oh…I fell down the stairs. I'm not really coordinated."

"How'd you hurt your back though?"

"I fell…backwards."

"Are you sure Jett didn't say anything?"

"Jett? What does he have to do with anything?"

"He hurts you. I watched him slap you. I saw the bruises on your neck. He abuses you."

"No, Kendall, he just… he loves me."

"If he loved you he wouldn't hit you. If you're afraid to say anything I can help you. We can go to my mom or a teacher or even my hockey coach."

"Kendall, I have to go. I don't want to talk about this." She said as she wiped away some tears. She pulled her sweater down a bit more to hide the bruises.

"What if he takes it too far? What if does something you don't want to do? What if he rapes you?"

She hesitated a bit before saying anything. "He wouldn't do that. He loves me and I…I love him."

"If he loves you he has an odd way of showing it." I yelled. She shrunk into herself and immediately I felt like an idiot.

"I really have to go Kendall." She whispered.

"I'm sorry I yelled. I uh…you missed first period. Sorry about that. I'll see you at lunch." I said as she ran out of the room.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

I was waiting at the lunch table with the hockey team and Hayley was nowhere in sight.

"Where's Hayley?" Logan asked Jett.

"She's probably being a whore again." Jett said and everyone laughed. I was about to retort but Hayley came over and sat next to Jett.

"Where were you?" Jett asked.

"I had to make up a test that I missed first period."

"Why'd you miss first period?" he asked her.

"I didn't feel well. I was in the bathroom."

"That's funny, Kendall missed first period too." Carlos said and Hayley bit her lip as her body tensed.

"That's…interesting." Jett murmured before grabbing Hayley's hand in a death grip.

"We'll deal with this later." He whispered into her ear while he sent me a glare.

**Review!**


	3. You Were Right

**Okay so tomorrow is the start of my senior year and I don't know when I'll be updating. In the first few days I'll update a lot because I won't get a lot of homework but once I get a lot I won't have time to update a lot. This chapter isn't graphic but it may make you uncomfortable. Please review and let me know what you think. **

**WARNING: mentions of rape.**

"Are you coming to the big game?" I asked Hayley. Hayley was checking my practice test.

"I think I am. Sometimes Jett doesn't want me there."

"I want you there."

"Jett doesn't even know I'm with you. I told him that I was going out with my mom." We were in her living room, doing homework and eating pizza on Saturday night. The game was Monday and it would decide whether or not we went to the championship.

"He's out with the rest of the team."

"Why aren't you with them?"

"I love my team but I think if I spent time with Jett, I would punch him." She chuckled and grabbed another slice.

"He's strong. Don't fight him. I know that from experience." She said and I wrapped an arm around her.

"Are you sure you don't want me to tell someone?"

"I'm gonna' have a talk with Jett. I'll get everything settled."

"Do you want me to be there?"

"It's best if you weren't."

"When are you going to talk to him?"

"Monday I think."

"Okay…do you want to watch a movie?"

"Remotes on the table, I want to go change into my pajamas. I'll be right back." She said before she ran to her bedroom. I ended up putting on a scary movie but paused it until she came back down. She came down in a tank top and shorts and I could see tons of bruises and scratches on her body.

"Hayley…" I walked over to her and she took a deep breath.

"I figured that since you know about it that I could wear this. If it makes you uncomfortable I can change."

"You look great." I complimented as we walked to the couch. We watched the movies together and every time she would get scared she would bury her head in my neck. I got into another movie when I noticed that she fell asleep. I didn't have the heart to wake her up so I shifted a little to get comfortable and just ended up falling asleep on her couch.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

The next morning I woke up and Hayley was still cuddled against me. I sneakily moved so I wouldn't wake her and grabbed my things. I wrote her a little note and taped it to her forehead. I quickly left her house and drove home.

"Kendall Donald Knight! Where were you?" my mom asked when I entered my house.

"I fell asleep at Hayley's. I'm sorry. I would have called but my phone died."

"Isn't she dating Jett?" my sister Katie asked.

"Yeah but I don't think they'll last."

"Why?"

"I have a feeling." I murmured before I headed up to my room.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

"Nice note you put on my forehead." Hayley said as she leaned against my locker.

"Well you know how I do."

"You're a loser. Why didn't you stay? I would have made breakfast."

"Bacon and eggs? An omelet maybe?"

"No…frozen waffles and spoiled milk." She deadpanned.

"We should do it again sometime."

"I'd like that." And for the first time I saw her smile a genuine smile.

"What would you like to do?" a voice behind us asked.

"Nothing. Hayley was talking about taking an art class." I lied.

"Oh…okay. Can I speak to you... in private Hayley?" Jett asked.

"I'll see you later. Good luck at the game tonight." She gave a small smile and let Jett drag her away. I wanted to follow but I didn't want to see her get abused.

**XxXxXxXxXxXx**

We were hanging out in the locker room during halftime. We were down by 2 and I was angry. I wasn't playing well. I still hadn't seen Hayley in the crowd.

"Where's Hayley?" I asked Jett.

"She was feeling…a bit under the weather before. I don't think she's going to make it." Jett said with a small smirk.

"Tell her that I hope she feels better."

"whatever." He turned his attention back to talking with Dak. I sighed and took a deep breath. I needed to focus so we could win this game.

**XxXxXx**

We ended up winning but by only 1 point.

"I'm so proud of you honey." My mom kissed my cheek when I met her in the stands. The team was leaving with their families and then heading out to a big party at Jett's house.

"Thanks mom. I didn't think we were going to win."

"I knew you would pull through. Are you going to the party?"

"I'm gonna' stick around and take a few more practice shots. I wasn't on my game tonight. I'll be home later though. I'll bring home pizza or something."

"I'll go get pizza and I'll save you a few slices. I'll make sure Katie doesn't eat them. I'll see you later." She waved before she headed towards the exit. I skated around the ice and took some shots for about a half hour when I heard the entrance click open. I ignored it, figuring it was one of the janitors.

"Kendall." I turned and saw Hayley.

"Oh my God." I quickly skated off the ice and practically ripped them off my feet.

"You were right." Her face was bloodied. Her left eye was black and she had bruises around her neck. She only had on a tank top and a pair of shorts.

"What happened?"

"He raped me. He tied me up and raped me. He took my clothes and only let me wear this. I had a sweatshirt but I threw it out. It was covered in blood." She said. I looked and saw that her legs were bruised and she had blood on the insides of her thighs.

"Fuck…you have to go to the hospital."

"Will you come with me? I don't want to be alone right now."

"Absolutely. Come into the locker room with me. I have extra clothes you can borrow." I tried to get closer but she stepped back.

"I'm not going to hurt you. Do you trust me?" she nodded and I helped her into the locker room. We both changed and by the time I got us into the car she was sobbing.

"It's going to be okay. He's not going to get away with this."

**So I hope that was dramatic enough. Review and let me know what you think! Good luck to everyone that starts school tomorrow! **


	4. I'm Sorry

**I know I haven't updated in a while and I'm sorry. The good news is that I have today and tomorrow off and I've written 2 chapters more of Ruined and another story I'm going to post sometime this week, maybe next week. Thank you for all your support and sticking around. I appreciate it. A lot of what you read in this chapter about the rape kit, I learned from my "you and the Law" teacher. Please review and let me know what you think! **

**Warning: mentions of rape**

"Do you have a preference as to which hospital we go to?" I gently asked. She shook her head and I headed towards St. Gills. It was raining when we arrived and I quickly ran around and held her close so the rain wouldn't hit her. That could ruin the evidence…right?"

"Too tight." She whispered and I immediately loosened my grip. I walked up to the nurses' station and explained what was going on.

"Follow me." I guided Hayley towards the examination room and handed the nurse her clothes that I put in a bag after she changed.

"Thank you." The nurse gave me a small smile and I sat in the chair across the room from Hayley.

"Hello, I'm Nurse Susan. I'm going to be examining you but I want to know what happened. Do you want your friend in here?"

"I'll leave if you want." I told Hayley.

"Stay." She murmured and I nodded.

"Who did this to you?"

"Nobody."

"I can only help you if you are cooperative."

"I don't want him to get in trouble."

"I know who did it."

"No, Kendall, no. Please don't tell her. Please." Hayley begged.

"You have to tell her. You're not safe with him."

"No." she whispered and I sighed. The nurse sent a sympathetic smile and went to grab some tools.

They scraped under her fingernails and photographed her bruises. They took some hair and swabs from different places on her body.

"I'm going to ask you some important questions and I want you to answer them honestly. If you lie, some of the tests I'm going to perform won't come back with the right results."

"Kendall…" she murmured and reached her hand out. I looked at the nurse to make sure it was okay and she nodded.

"What's the matter?"

"I'm scared."

"You're going to be okay. I promise. Do you trust me?"

"Yeah." She turned towards the nurse who grabbed her chart and grabbed a pen.

"Where did it happen?"

"His house."

"Where in his house?"

"His bedroom."

"Was anybody else home?"

"No."

"What position were you in?" she squeezed my hand and I sent her a small smile.

"Missionary then…doggy." She blushed and hid her face.

"That's going to help us when we swab for semen. It tells us where the semen pools." The nurse explained.

"Did you guys do anything else?"

"He made me…yakno." She mumbled.

"He made you perform oral?" the nurse asked and she nodded.

"Did you wear handcuffs?"

"He put them on too tight." She said.

"You did well. I have a few more quest…"

"No, no more. I just want to go home and shower. Please." Hayley begged and buried her head in my neck.

"You can take her but if you want you can call if you want to talk." The nurse handed me a card and I put it in my pocket. I brought her out to the car and started to head towards my house.

"I'm going to take you to my house. Is that okay?"

"S'fine."

"Are you hungry?" she nodded and bit her lip.

"I'll make you something when we get there while you shower."

"Is your mom going to be home?"

"Yeah, is that okay?"

"I guess." She mumbled and I sighed as I pulled into my driveway. I walked into the house, Hayley behind me, trying to think of the best way to break to my mom.

"Kendall? Are you okay? You were supposed to be home hours ago." My said as she walked into the living room. Her eyes locked on Hayley and her hand shot up to her mouth.

"What happened?"

"She was raped. I already took her to the hospital." I felt a tap on my shoulder and I turned towards Hayley and she burrowed herself into my chest.

"Who did it?" Hayley whimpered and I shook my head.

"Do you want to shower?" my mom asked and Hayley nodded. I led her to the bathroom and got her a towel.

"My room is next door and I'll lay out some clothes for you. I'll be downstairs so when you're done come down and I'll make something to eat."

"fine." She mumbled and shut the door. I walked back downstairs and my mom was in the kitchen making some coffee.

"Are you okay sweetie?"

"I'm fine. Am I doing the right thing? I had a chance to tell the nurse who did it but I didn't."

"You're just protecting her but can I at least know?"

"It was Jett." I whispered.

"Why would he do that to her?"

"He abuses her. He hits her and treats her like dirt and I knew it and I didn't do anything about it. This wouldn't have happened if I told someone." I felt extremely guilty; this was my entire fault.

"Don't blame yourself and it isn't her fault either and I need you to remind her of that. I'm going to head up to bed; Katie's already asleep so feed her then take her up to your room. Make her feel comfortable and I expect to see you asleep on the couch in the morning."

"Thanks mom." She gave me a kiss on the cheek then headed off. I put some pizza in the oven and sat grabbed two water bottles and put them on the table. I heard the water shut off and I waited until she came down.

"Hi."

"Hey…how are you?" I asked as she sat at the table. My sweatpants were gigantic on her but an old hockey jersey of mine looked really cute on her.

"I've been better."

"I'm heating up some pizza. It should be done in a few minutes."

"When it was happening…all I wanted to do call you and get away from him." I swallowed the lump in my throat as she talked about what Jett did to her. I got the pizza out and put it in front of her but she only nibbled a bit of it.

"Why did he do it?"

"He said I needed to be punished for being a whore. While he was doing it he kept on taunting me. Does Kendall fuck you as good as I do? Does Kendall know what you like? He wouldn't stop." She said. She was crying but I didn't want to invade her personal space.

"But we've never hooked up."

"Try explaining that to Jett." She mumbled. About an hour later we finished eating and talking and I followed behind her up to my room.

"You can make yourself comfortable and use whatever pillows you need."

"Are you sure you don't want to sleep here? I could sleep on the couch, it's no big deal."

"I insist that you sleep here."

"Thanks for everything." She said and she hugged me. I wrapped my arms around her, being careful of her bruises and gently hugged her. She looked up at me and without thinking; I leaned down and kissed her. As soon as my lips touched hers I pulled away.

"I'm so sorry. I uh…I have to go." I ran out of the room, ignoring her calls for me to come back.

**Was that good? I'm sorry if I grossed anyone out. Please review and let me know what you think. The reviews let me know that you guys still read the story even though the updates aren't that consistant. **


	5. Figuring it Out

**Hello! I hope everyone has been good. My applications are almost done and I'm super inspired so chapters should come quicker! I have most of my stories typed and ready to be posted but I'm pacing myself. Please review and let me know what you think! I really appreciate you guys sticking around.**

The next morning my mom went out with my sister and I was cooking breakfast waiting for Hayley to wake up. The kiss we shared was haunting me. I felt so bad for taking advantage of her but that kiss was amazing. I poured myself another cup of coffee and sighed as I waited for the frying pan to heat up.

"Kendall?"

"Hey Hayley, did you sleep well?"

"Yeah."

"Are you feeling okay? Do you need aspirin?"

"I'm fine right now. I'm a little hungry though."

"I'm making pancakes so give me a few minutes."

"Do you need any help?"

"I'm fine." I murmured as I turned back to the pan.

"Can you add blueberries to mine?"

"Can you get them out of the fridge?" she grabbed them and handed me them and stood next to me and watched me cook.

"You can go sit down. I've got it from here." I knew I was making it awkward for her and I felt like an idiot. "Here you go." I put a plate in front of her and she started picking at it.

"So…nice weather right?" I asked and she scoffed.

"Cut the crap, what's the matter?"

"I feel so bad about last night."

"You had nothing to do with Jett. You can't blame yourself."

"That's not what I'm talking about. I kissed you last night. I took advantage of you. I'm just like Jett."

"NO!" she screamed and I was shocked by her outburst.

"No you're not. You are nothing like him. I liked the kiss. You didn't do anything wrong."

"I feel terrible though. I took advantage of you while you were vulnerable." She got up and pulled me up by my collar and kissed me. I pushed her away gently and my mouth hung slack.

"You were raped yesterday and you act like nothing happened."

"I want to forget it. I want to move on and never remember the way he touched me or the way he pushed my head into the pillows. I want to move on."

"I'm not going to be your rebound."

"You wouldn't be a rebound. I like you."

"This is too much too soon for you."

"Don't tell me if I'm ready. I'm ready Kendall. I thought you liked me."

"I do but I don't want you to feel like I'm taking advantage of you. I don't want you to be angry at me."

"Don't worry about me." She said before she kissed me again. I put my hand on her hip but she jumped away.

"Sorry, sorry." I murmured.

"I'm fine just a little jumpy."

"Go finish your pancakes." I said.

"Do you need help with any homework?" she asked. I was shocked at how positive she was being.

"I could use some help."

"We'll do that after breakfast."

"What are you going to do about Jett?"

"Nothing."

"What? You're not going to break up with him?"

"I can't. He won't let me."

"If you don't break up with him, the abuse won't stop."

"I know but I just can't. Drop it okay?"

"fine." I mumbled and she quickly wiped at her eyes so I couldn't see her cry.

"M'sorry." I whispered and she nodded.

"I don't like being a victim but I can't help but be one. He used to be nice but something changed."

"c'mon, let's go do some homework."

**XxXxXxXxXxXx**

It was Tuesday of the next week and I was sitting in lunch waiting for Hayley to come. Jett was sitting talking to Carlos and I was getting a little anxious.

"Where's Hayley?" I asked.

"I don't know. Locker maybe? Why do you care?"

"I need help with my math homework. Test today." I lied. Well, I did have a test that day but I knew I was going to do well on it.

"There's my girlfriend." Jett called out and Hayley went and sat next to him. Her black eye was covered by pounds of makeup and nobody suspected a thing.

"Hey." She gave a small smile and snuck a glance my way.

"Where's my kiss?"

"Not in front of our friends." Hayley said and Jett gripped her shoulder tighter.

"Kiss me." He growled and she reluctantly pressed her lips to his.

"Ow! You bit me." She said as she grabbed her lip.

"You know I like it rough."

"Well I don't." He raised an eyebrow at her and she stared down at her lap. "sorry." She murmured and our friends went back to eating their lunch. Choosing to ignore the "happy couple."

"Hey Hayley, can you go to the library with me and help me study. I don't think I'm ready for my test."

"sure." She grabbed her pocketbook and gave Jett a small kiss then we left the cafeteria.

"Are we heading to the library?"

"I just wanted to get you alone. You haven't talked to me since you slept over." I mumbled as I pulled her into one of the practice rooms. I pulled out the piano bench and she sat on it. I sat on the floor and she put her feet in my lap.

"Jett smashed my phone. I'm getting a new on after school."

"I thought you were going to tutor me?"

"You have a test today, you won't have any homework."

"Right."

"Looking for excuses to hang out with me?" she joked but then stopped when she saw the serious look on my face.

"Yes."

"Why don't you come over tonight at 9. We have a day off tomorrow and we can just hang out."

"Will Jett know?"

"He's coming with me to get my phone but I'll fake illness."

"Being sneaky, I like it." I said before I leaned up and kissed her. I pulled away and she was smirking.

"I've been dying to do that again."

"So have I. good luck on your test, you're going to do great." She sent me a smile before she left the practice room.

xXxXxXxXxXx

"I brought ice cream." I called out as I walked into Hayley's house.

"Hayley?"

"Sorry. I was in the bathroom." She said.

"What happened?" she had another bruise on her neck and her eye looked blacker.

"He got angry that I left lunch. It's not your fault either."

"I'm sorry he did that to you."

"I'm used to it." She mumbled before she grabbed the ice cream and sat on the couch. I sat next to her and she laid her head against my chest.

"Open up." She said and I did as I was told. A little dribbled onto my chin and she leaned up and licked it away.

"Hayley…" I trailed off but she just put the ice cream on the table and then straddled me.

"Kendall."

"What are you doing?"

"I want to forget Jett and just be happy."

"How?" I asked as I leaned up and place a gentle kiss on her collarbone.

"Kiss me like you love me, touch me like I'm pure, don't think that I'm broken." She said simply and I nodded.

"I don't want to do it here. I'm going to take you up to your bedroom and I'm going to treat you right and treat you like you deserve." I carried her up to her bedroom and shut the door. Tonight I was going to make her happy.

I was going to love her.

**So I assume some of you are upset that Hayley is choosing to ignore what happened. It is actually quite common for a rape victim to do that. Anyway, please review and let me know what you thought!**


	6. Calm before the Storm

**This chapter is all over the place. I don't know how i feel about it. The next chapter is the "climax" of the story and it's very interesting. The more reviews I get ...the quicker it will come or I'll just wait 3 weeks to post it. If you haven't noticed I have 3 stories and I post them in a cycle. Please review and let me know what you think! **

"Are you sure?" I asked. I was on the phone with Hayley while trying to pack up my hockey gear.

"I'm positive. He thinks I'm going out of town with my parents this weekend. We can spend all weekend together."

"My mom and sister are visiting my aunt so I have the house to myself. I'll just ask my mom and you'll be able to crash all weekend."

"Can we have a repeat of last month?" Hayley asked and I smirked. Last month was the first time we hooked up and we had been secretly hanging out ever since. We hadn't hooked up again but I was getting a little anxious without touching her.

"I think we can." I whispered.

"Knight! You in here?" Jett called out.

"Oh God….I'll call you later." She said.

"I'll be home soon mom." I said as Jett came in. He shot me a questioning glance but smiled to cover it up.

"What's up?"

"I was thinking that we should move Dak forward and replace Logan."

"No, Logan is faster than Dak. We're not changing it." I said as I headed towards my car.

"Why not?" he said.

"Because I'm captain and what I say goes. I have to head home so if you'll excuse me…" I trailed off as I got in my car and left without another word.

**XxXxXxXx**

"Can Hayley stay the weekend with me so I don't get lonely?" I asked my mom.

"I guess she can." My mom said. Katie was out with her friends.

"Good, we want to hang out and get to know each other more."

"You like her."

"I know but I can't be with her."

"Why not?"

"She's still with Jett. She's lying to him and told him that she will be going away with her parents this weekend so she can spend it with me. She's afraid to break up with him."

"She'll have to do it eventually."

"I know but we want to wait until he isn't as angry."

"Are you being safe?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you use condoms?"

"Mom!"

"What? I got to make sure."

"We do." I said.

"Good, just making sure."

"She can still stay the weekend right?"

"She can but call me if you need anything okay?"

"Thanks mom."

**XxXxxxXxXx**

"Hey." Hayley said as she kissed me. I led her inside and she put her stuff on the couch.

'I'm so excited for this weekend." I said and she nodded.

"What are your plans for it?"

"I thought tonight we could make tacos and then sit outside and watch the stars. Tomorrow we could snuggle in bed all day and watch movies and then on Sunday…" I trailed off with a smirk.

"We could what?"

"We could go over my math homework because I don't understand it at all." I said and she slapped my arm.

"You suck." She giggled and I led her into the kitchen.

"My mom said she'd call to check in on us and she said that she misses you."

"I miss her and Katie too." She said as her phone rang.

"Hey Jett….no… I'm already on the road….we decided to leave early…I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye… love you too…I'll call you later…bye."

"What'd he want?"

"Wanted to make sure I was okay. He heard there was a lot of traffic."

"I know…tons of traffic in my kitchen." I joked as I got the frying pan out. I put the meat in the pan and she started grating the cheese.

"Jett hit me before I left." She said and I sighed.

"Where?"

"He cut my legs."

"With what?"

"A razor blade." She whispered and I threw my spatula down.

"What the fuck! Just break up with him already. He's a douchebag."

"I can't do that but I think I'm ready to go the police about him."

"Good." I muttered as I dished some of the meat into the taco shells. We ate in silence and I could tell she was a little upset about my outburst.

A little while later, we were outside watching the stars and she was laying her head on my chest.

"You coming to the big game next week?" I asked.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world." She mumbled.

"Good…you're my good luck charm." I said and she nodded.

"I'm sorry about before."

"It's fine. You're right though…he's a douchebag." She said as she turned and connected her lips with my neck.

"Do you want to…" she trailed off and I nodded.

"Don't mind my thighs." She whispered.

"They're beautiful…you're beautiful." I said as I brought her into the house.

**XxXxXxXxXxXx**

"You're hogging the blankets." She mumbled. We were watching movies on my bed and snuggled up.

"I'm sorry. Come here, I'll warm you up." I said and pulled her closer to me.

"I don't want to leave tomorrow." She said.

"Move in with me." I chuckled and she buried her head into my chest.

"Hey Kendall… I love you."

"What?"

"I love you not Jett. I know it's been a short while but…yeah…lame." She trailed off.

"I love you too." I said.

"Good." She hummed against my chest and I squeezed her tight.

"I need your help getting away from Jett."

"Anything you need, anything you want I can help you."

"Thank you." She whispered and we both turned our attention back to the movie.

**XxXxXxXx**

It was Monday morning and I was at my locker.

"Hey you." Hayley whispered and I smiled as she stood next to my locker.

"Hey, did you sleep well last night?"

"Slept great…missed your arms though."

"Kendall, Hayley I want to commend you guys on working together. I've noticed a great improvement with Kendall." Mr. Simpson said as he walked by. Jett came up and wrapped his arm tight around Hayley.

"Congratulations Knight, now Hayley can tutor you only once a week."

"I like meeting twice a week cuz it helps me understand it better."

"I don't think so. Once a week now." He said and Hayley nodded.

"Go to class Hayley, I'll meet you there in a minute. I have to talk to Kendall about the hockey team."

"I'll see you later." She said and scampered off.

"What about the hockey team?" I asked as the bell rang. We were going to be late for class but whatever. He pushed me against my locker and put his hand to my neck.

"You replace Logan with Dak or something really bad is going to happen."

"I'm not afraid of you." I said as he started to chuckle evilly.

"I know what you did this weekend. I know you were with her. She's going to get it so bad" He said before walking off.

**Review!**


	7. Fire

**This is my attempt at drama. I attempted to make it a bit gruesome so be prepared. Please please review! It means a lot to me!**

I was in the locker room an hour before game time. It was the championship and I was nervous.

"Pick up, pick up, pick up." I mumbled. I was calling Hayley but she wasn't answering.

"You good captain?" Logan asked and I nodded.

"Keep your head in the game." James said. I took a deep breath and walked to Jett's locker. He was standing there cracking his bones.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"Do you know where Hayley is? She isn't picking her phone up."

"She's my girlfriend. Why do you care?" he asked with a smirk.

"You know damn well why."

"She's a bit...tied up now."

"Where is she?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"She's someplace only I know. Just remember that you caused all this. It's going to blow up in your face…like an uncontrollable _**fire**_."

"Cut the crap Jett. Tell me where the fuck she is." I demanded as I pushed him against the lockers.

"Knight! Stetson! Get your butts out here now!" the couch yelled.

"Just remember….you caused all this." He darkly muttered as he shoved me off of him and walked out of the locker room. I took a deep breath, called her once again with no luck and then headed out to play.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

We won the game but by only a point. Jett sent me a smirk when he left with his parents.

"You played great sweetheart. I'm so proud of you." My mom said as she hugged me.

"Yeah…thanks." I mumbled as I adjusted the bag on my shoulder.

"Where's Hayley?" Katie asked.

"I don't know." I mumbled.

"Are you okay? You look pale." My mom asked.

"I have a bad feeling. I think Hayley is missing and Jett has something to do with it." I confessed.

"She's probably fine. She probably fell asleep and is having a nice nap." My mom reassured as we headed out to the parking lot. She had parked her car next to phone rang and I was grateful to see that it was Hayley.

"Hey, where are you? Are you okay?" I asked and my mom was shooting me an "I told you so" look.

"Help me." She whispered out.

"What? Where are you?" I panicked.

"Jett…he….he hurt me bad. I don't know….where I am. Help me." She whispered.

"I'm going to find you. I promise. I love you Hayley." I said with tears in my eyes.

"I love you too. He's…back…" she trailed off.

"Hayley! Where are you? Come out you slut." I heard Jett call and then I heard Hayley screaming.

"Mom...call 911. Hayley is in trouble." I sputtered out. I didn't know what I was feeling.

"Where are you going?" my mom asked as I got in my car.

"I'm going to Jett's house. Call and ambulance and meet me there." I said as I drove away.

**XxXxXxXxXxXx**

Jett's house was pitch-black when I got there. I didn't understand how he could be there without the lights on. I snuck through the front door and sneakily made my way through the house. There was no sign of Jett or Hayley but Hayley's clothes were thrown around the living room. Suddenly, I heard screaming from upstairs so I ran up and busted through Jett's bedroom door.

The only thing in there was a radio with a CD of Hayley screaming.

"You fell for it." Jett said before he shut the door and locked it. I started hitting the door and kicking it but it was no use. I pulled my cell phone out but there was no reception.

"Son of a bitch." I muttered. I looked around the room to try and see if there was anything I could use. There was nothing. I jiggled the handle of the door and pressed against it and the door shot open. I heard the backdoor shut and I ran out there. I saw Jett walk into his shed. I hid in his kitchen and called my mom.

"Jett has Hayley. Did you call the cops?"

"They're on their way. Kendall, don't do anything stupid."

"I won't mom. I love you." I said. I saw Jett pulling Hayley out of the shed by her hair.

"Jett! What the fuck are you doing?"

"None of your business Knight." He yelled. Hayley was crying and she was covered in bruises. Her hair was much shorter than it was the last time I saw her.

"What did you do to her?" I asked as I heard the police sirens approaching.

"She was disobedient. She needed to be punished. She got the worst beating and I cut her hair. She's a filthy whore."

"She isn't. Just let her go and we can talk about this." I said gently, trying a new strategy to get him to let her go.

"No. You're the reason she cheated on me. You're the reason no one loves me." He said. The police came and surrounded him but he didn't back down.

"Just let her go." I begged. She was crying and staring right at me. She was dripping wet, which I assumed was water.

I was wrong.

"If I can't have her…no one can." He said as he pulled out a lighter.

I finally realized what she was drenched in.

Lighter fluid.

In a flash, her body was consumed in fire. All I remember was her screaming and falling to the ground. The cops turned their attention to her and the paramedics went to help her.

"This is your entire fault Kendall. You're the reason she's going to die."

"No! This is all your fault." I screamed. I was torn between watching him and watching the medics try to stop the fire on Hayley's body.

"You turned her into a whore. You took the only person I loved from me. You made me do this."

"I didn't do anything."

"I hate you Kendall." He said before he pulled a gun out from his shirt. He brought the gun up and put it against his forehead.

"Jett!" I yelled as the gun went off. Jett fell to the ground and some of the cops went to him. I started to feel dizzy. Everything happened too fast.

"Hayley!" I yelled as I watched the paramedics bring her to the ambulance. She was almost unidentifiable. Her skin was raw and charred. I started to throw up and sway and that's when everything went black.

**So was that good? Review!**


	8. Hospital

**Hello! I really hope you review! I will say that telling me to erase a chapter and delete it and change the plot it very…annoying. I got a review like that and it upset me. Everyone has their opinion but I did warn that the last chapter was graphic. Anyway, this isn't as bad but please review and let me know what you think! **

"I have to…she….I just…..let me go!" I yelled as my mom cradled me to her chest. I didn't realize I was crying until I noticed her shirt getting wet. The ambulance left a few minutes ago with Hayley but I had to stay behind to talk to the police.

"Calm down sweetheart, I'll take you right to the hospital when you're allowed to leave. Put the oxygen mask back on." She told me. The paramedics gave me some oxygen and made me sit down after I passed out. The cops were labeling evidence but I just stared at the white sheet covering Jett's body. Another sheet was covering his head that was a few inches away from his body.

"I'm detective Burns, I have a few questions for you. Is that okay?" I nodded and my mom squeezed my shoulder.

"Why were you here?"

"I got a call from Hayley and then I heard Jett in the background."

"Do you know why Jett would do this?"

"He abused her and she was too scared to leave."

"Did you know he had a gun?"

"I didn't know. I…I need to see Hayley." I said and the detective nodded. Instead of my mom driving, a police officer drove us. The nurse made us sit and wait before we could see her.

"Are you Kendall Knight?" a woman asked. I nodded and she glared at me. She slapped me and I gripped my cheek.

"You knew and you didn't say anything."

"Who are you?" my mom asked.

"I'm Pam, Hayley's mom. You knew about Jett and you didn't do anything about it. This is all your fault." She said.

"She made me promise I wouldn't. How is she?"

"She probably won't make it. They made me say my goodbyes. I hope you're happy." She said as she walked away.

"Mommy…" I cried and she just hugged me. A doctor came out and called us over.

"I'm Dr. Strong; I heard you're here to see Hayley."

"Is she okay?"

"I'm afraid that she won't make it through the night. She has a head wound and some very dark bruises. When she was set on fire, she burned quickly due to the accelerant. She is in a special room so usually I don't allow visitors but if you wear scrubs…you can go in." I nodded and left with the doctor while my mom stayed in the waiting room.

"I wanted to get you away from your mom for a moment. Are you her boyfriend?"

"I am…"

"Were you sexually active?"

"Yeah…what are you getting at?"

"Well…when she came in we gave her a full body scan and she was pregnant."

"No…no…no…no…how's the baby?"

"It didn't make it. She had a huge bruise on her abdomen."

"But….I…"

"It could also have been Jett's. The paramedics explained it to me. I could run a test if you'd like on the fetus."

"Go ahead."

"It was a boy. You can go in whenever you're ready." He said as he patted my shoulder.

I walked in and I wanted to vomit. Hayley was laying there, her body wrapped in gauze, her hair was cut from Jett but my eyes stayed locked on her stomach.

"Hey Hayley, it's Kendall. I am so sorry…this was my entire fault. If I just told someone what Jett was doing….God….I'm so glad he's gone. I'm going to come visit you every day but that means that you have to stick around and fight. Please fight." I squeezed her hand but nothing happened.

"You…we…had a son. It has to be mine. If it's Jett's then I'll be there to help you grieve. You need to fight though. I need you in my life. Who would help me with my math?" I asked.

"I'm going to get some coffee and get some air but I'll be back in an hour or so…. I love you." I whispered before I left. I practically ran to the bathroom and threw up. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and then headed to the cafeteria. I found my mom sitting at a table and I joined her.

"How is she?"

"It's bad mom. She doesn't even look like herself. I feel so bad."

"It's not your fault. You have to stay strong for her."

"Mr. Knight." Dr. Strong tapped me and he pulled me away.

"We just got the results back." He said. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"His father was Kendall Knight. I'm sorry for your loss." He said.

"How…how…how far along was she?"

"She was about 9 weeks pregnant. It's a bit soon to tell the gender but like I told you before I was pretty sure it was a boy."

"Can…can I see him?"

"It's best that you don't."

"But…he is…was my son."

"He wasn't that developed and it's not a pleasant sight."

"Thank you…I…I'm going to visit Hayley now…so…yeah." I muttered as I wiped the tears from my eyes.

"What's wrong baby?" my mom asked as she approached.

"Hayley was pregnant…it was mine."

"Oh…Kendall I'm so sorry."

"It was a boy."

"My grandson." She murmured.

"I'm going to spend some time with Hayley. I'll find you later." I told her then headed towards Hayley's room.

"Hey Hayley…I miss you. You need to wake up so we can talk." I whispered.

"hmmph."

"Hayley?"

"'dall?"

"Yeah it's me. Don't talk right now. I'm going to get a nurse." I ran out and a nurse came running in and started examining her.

"She's awake now so we upped her pain medication. Don't touch her burnt skin and make sure she doesn't cry or get too worked up. Keep talking to a minimum." The nurse said before she left.

"'dall."

"I'm right here. Calm down." I whispered.

"by"

"What?"

"ba..b-aby."

"Baby?"

"s…safe?" she whispered.

"Oh…I'm so sorry. He…he didn't make it." I told her and she looked like she was going to cry.

"Stay calm. It's okay. We'll get through this. He was mine."

"He?"

"Yeah, tests proved it."

"s'ry."

"Don't be. I'm not mad at you. Never be mad at you."

"'ett?"

"He shot himself. He's dead." She frowned and I swallowed thickly.

"You should be resting. Go back to sleep and I'll be here when you wake up."

" 'romise?"

"I promise." She smiled and closed her eyes.

"Love you." She murmured and I smiled and started to cry hard.

"Love you more baby."

**So yeah… what's a story written by me that doesn't involve a baby lol. Please review and let me know what you think!**


	9. Welcome Back

**Happy New Year! I actually had a life last night and went out so I'm sorry I didn't update yesterday. I haven't said this in a while but I really appreciate all the reviews and support. I know that stories that involve made up characters and only one of the guys aren't really popular but my stories have been well received. Thank you for that!**

**Sorry for the long authors note but I hope that you enjoy this chapter and I really wish you guys review!**

It was 2 months later and Hayley kind of disappeared from my life. She never answered my calls and ignored me after she left the hospital. The doctor said that her recovery was a miracle. I wanted to talk to her and call her and kiss her and love her like I was supposed to. She hadn't come back to school yet and after the school found out about Jett, kids were being disrespectful. I'd walk through the hall and hear kids say that she deserved it.

"You okay man?" James asked. He and I had gotten much closer since the incident. He was the only one who knew the whole story.

"I'm fine." I mumbled.

"There's a rumor going around that Hayley is coming back today."

"Doubt it." I said as I took my seat in history. Halfway through class, the door opened and the principal walked in.

"I wanted to come in and warn you guys of the consequences of bullying. Hayley is coming back today and I don't want to hear about any of you saying mean things to her. If I do, you will be suspended. Am I understood?" he asked and the class nodded. I was eagerly waiting for Hayley to walk in.

The door opened and Hayley walked in. Her skin was discolored and she still had dark bruises and bumps covering her. Her hair was cut in a pixie style. No longer did she have long brown hair. My eyes stared at her stomach but I knew nothing was in there. She looked scared standing up there.

"You can choose where to sit." The teacher said and she immediately walked over to me and sat in my lap. I was confused. We hadn't talked in 2 months but here she was clinging to me.

"Hayley…why don't you take the desk next to Kendall." The principal suggested. She shook her head and buried her head in my neck.

"It's fine." I said and they nodded.

"Complete the homework then it's a free period." The teacher said. He was too busy talking to the principal.

"How're you doing?" I whispered.

"fine." She murmured.

"I missed you."

"Missed you too."

"Why didn't you answer my calls?" I gently asked.

"I didn't feel like it."

"That's fine. I'm glad you're back."

"Do you like my hair?" she asked. It was almost like I was talking to a 4 year old. Her voice was soft and innocent.

"It's very pretty."

"I miss my old hair."

"It looks better this way." I reassured.

"I'm sorry about not talking to you."

"It's okay. Do you want to eat lunch with me today?"

"…will the hockey team be there?"

"I'll meet you at your locker and then we'll eat in my car. How does that sound?"

"I'd like that."

"I want to have a serious talk with you then…do you mind?"

"Do we have to?"

"We do."

"…I guess." She pouted and I wanted to kiss her so bad.

"You look beautiful."

"No I don't. I'm all…disfigured."

"You look amazing." I reassured as the bell rang.

"What do you have this period?"

"Science."

"So does James. He'll walk you to class."

"thanks." She whispered and James gently guided her down the hall.

"Mr. Knight…keep an eye on her." The principal said as I left.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

"And then James threw the ball at Logan's head and Logan got a concussion." I told the story to Hayley who was giggling.

"Is he okay?"

"He's fine."

"Good…"

"How are you…really?"

"I'm…dealing." This was the Hayley I knew.

"How's ….your stomach?"

"It's fine."

"You…uh…you knew about the baby. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I found out that morning…I was going to tell you….I just never got the chance too."

"Oh…"

"I named him."

"You did?"

"My mom planted a tree in the park that represents him and she put a plaque there. You can visit it if you want."

"I will…what did you name him?"

"Go to the tree and find out." She gave me a small smile.

"We should probably get back inside…lunch period is probably over."

"Do…do you want to come over for dinner this Friday?"

"I'd like that. Does your mom still hate me?"

"I think she does…don't mind her though."

"But my girlfriends mom can't hate me"

"Girlfriend?"

"Well…I just….we were…and …the baby…I…"

"You can be my boyfriend but you can't touch me…or hurt me."

"I promise I won't."

"Good…boyfriend." She smiled and I chuckled.

"What did Jett do to you that day?"

"I don't want to tell you yet….I will when I'm ready."

"I'll be there to listen to you…with no judgment." I said.

"Thanks…I'll see you later." She said as she headed back into school. I ran back to my car and quickly drove to the park. I came to a little tree and sat in front of the plaque.

"Perfect name." I mumbled.

"Gabe means warrior." A voice behind me said.

"What are you doing here?"

"I saw you leave school so I took a bus and followed you.

"Gabe Tyler Knight…it's perfect." I said and Hayley sat down next to me.

"I wish I could have been able to protect him. I tried…Jett was too strong."

"It's not your fault…I don't blame you…he would have been a great son." I said and she nodded.

"When I found out about him…I was so scared. What would you think? What would Jett do? I was scared. When Jett was punching me and yelling at me…..it didn't matter. All that mattered was that my baby was being hurt."

"I'm sorry…"

"He said he knew. He could tell by the way my hips were and how I looked different. How could he have known? I only found out that day…"

"I don't know…"

"Was it gruesome?"

"Yeah…it was disgusting. He did it himself." I said and she nodded.

"Will we come visit here again? Maybe have a picnic here in a few weeks."

"That sounds like a great idea. We should get back to school..." I trailed off.

"Can we stay here? I don't feel like leaving yet."

"Whatever you want." I whispered as I sat with my back against the tree. Hayley snuggled against me and we just sat in silence. Silently mourning the loss of our baby.

**Was it good? Bad? Review and let me know!**


	10. Dinner

**Gahhh I feel like crap. I'm getting the flu, I have the worst cramps and I haven't written anything in 2 weeks. I hope this chapter is good enough. Hayley has a breakthrough/breakdown. Please review!**

"So you'll come over at 7?" Hayley asked. I was going to her house for dinner with her parents.

"I won't be late." I whispered as I kissed her. Hayley and I had been going out for about a week now and she was comfortable with me kissing her.

"Good, my dad will like you better."

"Should I bring anything?"

"No, you don't have too. I made brownies for dessert." She smiled.

"Can't wait to try them." I said as I brushed her bangs out of her face. A car honked and Hayley waved to the woman driving.

"That's my mom. I'll see you tonight." She said and kissed my cheek.

"Bye baby." I said as she left. I watched the car drive away and then headed to my car.

"Mr. Knight! Can you come here a moment?" Mr. Staub yelled. He was Hayley's AP history teacher.

"What's up?"

"I know you're close with Hayley and I was wondering if you saw any changes in her behavior."

"Like how?"

"Has she been acting different? Has she stopped doing certain things she used to?"

"She's been acting younger than she actually is but I thought that was normal after everything she's been through. I treat her a bit like a child but how else should I?"

"I was just wondering. She's been distant. I want the more engaged and intelligent Hayley back." He said and I nodded.

"Me too."

**XxXxXxXxXx**

I pulled up to Hayley's house a few minutes early and took a breath to calm myself before I knocked on her door.

"Kendall!" Hayley smiled and hugged me tight.

"I missed you." She whispered.

"Missed you too baby. I got these for you." I said as I held up a bouquet of lilies.

"They're so pretty." She smiled and led me inside.

"You must be Kendall, I'm Mr. Shea."

"Daddy, stop that. That's my dad Tom."

"Nice to meet you sir." I said as I shook his hand.

"Firm shake, I like it"

"I think you met my mother when I was in the hospital." Hayley said as her mom stopped cooking and came and smiled at me.

"Kendall."

"Mrs. Shea."

"Call her Pam." Hayley smiled but Pam frowned.

"I got these for you." I said as I showed her a bouquet of roses.

"I'm allergic to flowers." She said curtly as she walked away and back into the kitchen.

"I'll take them into my office. They can spice up the place." Tom said.

"My dad's an accountant and he works from home now."

"How're you doing?" I whispered.

"I'm good. I showered by myself for the first time today."

"I'm proud of you." I whispered as I kissed her forehead.

"So Kendall…why don't you come sit down at the table. Dinner is almost ready." Pam said and I nodded. I sat next to Hayley as Pam and Tom started dishing out food and putting it on the table.

"So Kendall, I hear you play hockey. Are you any good?"

"I'm okay. Got a few colleges scouting me but nothing is set in stone yet."

"Why didn't you tell anybody that Hayley was being abused?" Pam suddenly said.

"Mom!" Hayley yelled.

"She made me promise I wouldn't tell."

"Look at what you caused! My daughter doesn't even acknowledge the fact that she almost died! She isn't my daughter and you caused this."

"I didn't rape her! I was there for her! Blame Jett. He caused this!" I yelled.

"My daughter is a shell and it's all because of you. All you had to do was open your mouth and tell someone. Anyone! But you didn't. My daughter acts like a 5 year old now."

"She's not even speaking to us." Tom spoke up and I turned towards Hayley who was staring at her plate.

"Is that true?" I asked and Hayley finally met my eyes. Her face was covered in tears and her lip was quivering.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Hayley you have too!" Pam yelled.

"I don't want to."

"Come on Hales." I encouraged.

"I hate this! I fucking hate this! You guys are always pressuring me to open up! I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk about the way I still feel Jett touching me. The way Jett kissed me. The way Jett felt inside me. I don't want to talk about how every time I shower I scrub my skin raw because I still feel dirty. I feel like shit. I fucking hate how I look. I look in the mirror and I look terrible. My hair is gone. My skin is all bruised and discolored. My complexion will never be even because of what he did. I hate looking down at my stomach and seeing nothing. If Jett didn't hurt me, Gabe would be inside me, safe and protected. I'd be pregnant still. When I look at my stomach…I see a scar from where they took him out. That's going to be a constant reminder of what happened and what could have been. I hate looking at my stomach. I look at you mom and dad and I feel like I disappointed you. When I look at Kendall, I feel so dirty and cheap. I don't want to talk about it because it hurts too much. Is this what you wanted?" she screamed. Her face was bright red. She was sweating and panting.

Pam was crying and Tom had a stoic look on his face.

"Hayley…" I gently said and she snapped out of it. She jumped into my arms and buried her head in my neck. I rubbed her back and whispered calming words in her ear.

"Hayley, that was important for us to know. Now we know what we can do to help." Pam said and Hayley nodded against my shoulder.

"Do you want to get cosmetic surgery? We can get the scar covered up." Tom offered but she shook her head.

"Why don't you and Kendall go upstairs to your bedroom and just relax. He's allowed to stay the night if he wants." Pam offered and she nodded.

"You go upstairs and I'll be up in a second baby." I said and she ran to her room.

"I'm really sorry for not saying anything but I didn't know what to do." I said and they nodded.

"I guess I'm blaming you instead of myself. I'm her mother and I didn't notice it."

"Now we know what's bothering her and we can help her." Tom said and I nodded.

"Losing Gabe not only hurt her but it hurts me too. I've cried every night practically." I confessed.

"So have we." They confessed. I gave a small smile and then headed up to her bedroom.

"Hales?"

"hi." She whispered. She was sitting in the window seat in her room. I sat across from her and she laid her legs on me.

"Can I see?" I whispered. She wordlessly lifted her shirt up and I saw this large scar across her stomach.

"Are you mad at me?"

"Never. None of this was your fault." I reassured.

"I'm gonna' get better right? I'm gonna' go back to the old me right?"

"You'll be okay, I promise."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. What do you want to do now?" I asked.

"Hold me?"

"absolutely." She came over and I wrapped my arms around her.

"Never let go." She pleaded.

"Never."

**Yeah….review**


	11. Prom

**Random update! Lol I have a week off of school so I plan on finishing writing this story and Oh My and then my writing "career" will be over **** :( please review and let me know what you think! This story hasn't been getting a lot of reviews and that upsets me. **

"You know prom is coming up." I said. Hayley and I were hanging out doing homework at her place.

"Yeah."

"Do you want to go with me?" I asked.

"I'm not going to prom. I don't want to be there."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." She said with a shrug.

"Come on, don't lie to me. What's the real reason?"

"I won't be as pretty as everyone else." She whispered.

"Baby, you're absolutely stunning. You always have been to me and you always will be."

"I know what I look like. You don't have to lie to me."

"I'm not. I don't care what I have to do to get you to realize that you're beautiful but I won't stop until you believe that."

"I'll think about it." She murmured and I nodded.

"Can I talk to you about something?"

"What's up?"

"You know how I've been getting offers for scholarships?"

"Did you accept one?"

"Well…what if I don't want to go for hockey?"

"Then what do you want to go for?"

"I was actually…thinking of enlisting."

"Enlisting? Like in the army?"

"I think that would be best for me. I've talked to my mom and she thinks it's a good idea."

"But why? You told me that you'd never leave me."

"I know but I won't be gone forever. My dad died when he was in the army. I remember being so proud of him when he would come home after his deployment. I want that."

"But I'll miss you." She pouted.

"I know. I have to enlist still plus we have prom and graduation still. We still have time together." She just nodded but wouldn't look me in the eyes.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No…just worried."

"I'll be okay."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"You would look good in a uniform." She mumbled with a small smile and I just rolled my eyes. I put my books down and jumped on her so I could tickle her. She was giggling and I was kissing her collarbone while simultaneously giggling against it.

"Kendall! Stop it!" she chuckled but I just smiled.

"You're amazing." I mumbled against her skin.

"Stop being corny. Come on; let's go make dinner before my parents come home." She suggested as she smirked and jumped off the bed.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

I was sitting at lunch with the team but Hayley had yet to show up.

"Was she in your last period class?" I asked James.

"Yeah, she said that she was going to her locker and then she would be here."

"I'm gonna go see if she's there." I threw out my uneaten lunch, too scared to even attempt a bite, and headed to her locker. I ran when I saw that she was sitting against it with tears running down her face.

"What's the matter baby? Are you okay? Did someone hurt you?" she hiccupped and wiped some tears away and handed me a photo.

The photo was of the tree that was planted in honor of Gabriel. It was cut in half and the plaque was spray-painted on.

"Who…who did this?" I whispered.

"It was taped to my locker."

"Son of a bitch! We'll find out who did this and…and…. Gah! I'm so angry."

"Why would someone do this?"

"I don't know baby. We'll plant another tree and get another plaque I promise."

"I want to go home."

"Come on, I'll take you." I whispered and helped her gather her books and drove her home.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxX**

I was sitting in my bed later that night trying to do homework when I got a call from Hayley.

"Are you okay baby? Do you need me to come over?"

"I'm fine. I uh…do…do you still want to go to prom?"

"Yeah but I don't have a date. My girlfriend has this stupid idea that she's not pretty enough."

"She's crazy but she realizes that since her boyfriend is going to be going off to war in the future…she wants to spend as much time with him as she can."

"Hayley, will you go to prom with me?"

"I would be delighted." She giggled and I smiled.

"Good… you going dress shopping with your mom?"

"Probably this weekend, when I told her that I wasn't going she almost had a heart attack. She lectured me about how going to prom was like a right of passage."

"It kinda is."

"Quiet you. Do you think your mom and sister would want to go with me?"

"I think they would. Want me to ask them?"

"Could you? You can give me the answer tomorrow 'cuz I'm beat and I want to go to bed early."

"Well I'll see you tomorrow morning. I'll pick you up early tomorrow so we can pick up breakfast before school"

"Sounds amazing."

"Sleep well baby."

"You too."

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

"She picked the most gorgeous dress big brother."

"What color tie should I wear?"

"Wear…black."

"Really? No funky color?"

"Keep it simple Kendall."

"Fine mom." I mumbled as the phone rang. She went to get it as I helped Katie get started on her homework.

"Kendall…it's for you." I noticed that my mom looked a bit shaken up. I went and took the call in another room.

"…okay…thank you… thank you sir…see you soon." I mumbled.

"Mom…"

**XxXxXxXxXxXxX**

"You look very handsome Kendall." Pam complimented me. It was 2 weeks later and the day of prom.

"Thank you. Is she almost ready?"

"She was just brushing her teeth and putting on some lipstick when I left."

"Have you told her yet?" Tom whispered to me.

"I don't know how to." I mumbled as I heard heels clicking. I turned and saw Hayley coming down the stairs.

"Wow….you look so beautiful baby." I said as I kissed the side of her face. Her dress was long and it was a bright white. It was lacy but my favorite part of the dress was that it showed some of her scars and discolored skin but she didn't seem to care.

"You look very nice too." After a few pictures, we started heading to my car so I could drive us to prom.

"Be careful you guys. Don't stay out too late afterwards." My mom said and I nodded.

"Ready to have fun?"

"With you…always." She said with a small smile.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

Prom was a blast. Hayley and I danced all night and she even danced with James. James and some girl Tammy won prom king and queen. It was the final dance of the night and Hayley and I were swaying side to side.

"I can't wait to spend the summer with you. This is going to be awesome."

"Yeah…but you have to get ready for college."

"I'm going to the local community college…I have nothing to prepare for." She mumbled and I kissed the top of her head.

"About that…."

"What?"

"I didn't want to tell you yet."

"Just tell me."

"Baby…I enlisted. I leave for boot camp the day after graduation."

**so yeah that happened. PLEASE review.**


	12. Hello Goodbye

**Hello! Randomly updating because I feel like it. I got my prom dress today! I'm so excited. Please review and let me know what you think! **

It was graduation and I was being shipped off tomorrow. Hayley and I were on shaky territory. She barely talked to me and the closer it got to me leaving for boot camp, the less she wanted to hang out.

"Ready to go big brother?" Katie asked and I nodded.

**XxXxXxXx**

We were all lined up for graduation when I felt someone poke me.

"Hey." Hayley gave a small smile and I kissed her forehead.

"Hey, how're you doing?"

"I'm good. I was just wondering if you'd meet me in the park tonight."

"At the tree?" We replanted the tree and got a new plaque where Gabriel's memorial was. We never found out who did it. She nodded and I smiled.

"I've missed you."

"Missed you too." She whispered and then went back to her place in line. We all walked out and got seated and waited or the principal to begin.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

"I'm so proud of you!" my mom said and hugged me tight.

"Thanks mom." I chuckled.

"Ready to go to the barber now?" Katie asked.

"No but I have too"

"Do you want to try and see Hayley?" my mom offered.

"We're meeting tonight. I might bring a picnic."

"Sounds good big brother."

**XxXxXxXx**

"What will we be doing today?" the barber asked.

"Buzz it."

**XxXxXxXxXxXx**

"Hayley?" I called out and she turned from where she was sitting under the tree to look at me.

"Wow…your hair."

"I had to get it done for boot camp."

"I like it."

"It's weird." I mumbled.

"Do you have to go?" she asked as I sat next to her and she buried herself into my side.

"I have to. I think this will be really good for me."

"I'll miss you. It's not going to be the same."

"I know but you can visit in three months when I graduate and then I'll be home before you know it."

"I don't know if it's worth it."

"That's your opinion." I whispered and she nodded.

"What are you going to miss the most?"

"I think…waking up with you in my arms. I'll miss your smile and your hugs and I'll miss you. I'll miss my friends, mom and Katie but you…you're special."

"I love you Kendall." She kissed my cheek and I wiped the tears from my eyes.

"I love you too Hayley."

"Will you do me a favor?"

"Anything."

"Just hold me. Never let go." She whispered and I immediately tightened my grip around her and kissed her hairline repeatedly.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxx**

"Is she coming?" I asked my mom, Katie, Pam and Tom. Hayley was nowhere in sight.

"We asked her to come with us but she said she wasn't feeling well."

"Oh."

"Make us proud Kendall." Tom said as he shook my hand. Pam hugged me and I whispered in her ear.

"Keep her safe." she nodded and I turned towards Katie.

"Hey baby sister, I need you to be strong and make sure mom stays sane. Can you do that?" she nodded and I hugged her.

"I'll miss you Kendall."

"I'll miss you more."

"Stay safe." my mom said and I hugged her tight.

"Love you mommy."

"Love you too my baby boy."

"Tell Hayley that I love her and that I'll keep my promise." With one last wave I turned and headed for the gate.

"Wait! Kendall!" I heard a voice and I turned to see a panting Hayley. I ran to her and she squeezed me tight.

"I thought you weren't coming."

"I didn't want to but I had to."

"I'm glad you did."

"I need you to keep your promise. Don't leave me. You're not allowed." I leaned my forehead against hers and stared into her eyes.

"I will do whatever I can to make sure I come home safe. You need to stay safe too. Stay strong. I promise you that I will make it home safe."

"Swear?"

"I swear. I need you to make me a promise too."

"anything." She whispered.

"Visit Gabriel often and let him know that I love him and that I'll be home soon. Can you do that for me?" she nodded and I leaned and kissed her.

"You'll come back right?"

"You can't get rid of me that easy." I mumbled as the intercom came over the airport saying that my flight was boarding.

"I gotta go." I mumbled.

"I know." She whispered. With one last kiss, I parted from her and headed towards my boarding gate. Before I walked through, I glanced back and saw Hayley crying into her dad's chest while everyone waved. With a quick wave, I wiped the tears from my eyes and headed towards boot camp.

**XxXxXxXxXxXx**

I was setting up my bunk when my bunkmate entered.

"You must be Knight."

"Yeah…and you are?"

"I'm Elliot."

"Kendall."

"So what made you join?"

"My dad was in the service and I wanted to follow in his footsteps."

"I needed discipline apparently. My mom said I was out of control."

"Oh…"

"You don't look too happy." He said.

"I just miss my family."

"Got a lady back home?" he asked and I chuckled.

"Yeah…she's really special. Do you have a girlfriend?"

"No…I have a baby mama though."

"You have a kid?"

"Well…technically. We gave him up for adoption."

"Do you see him often?"

"No, I haven't seen him in over 2 years. The adoptive parents didn't like how I was acting."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"That's why I'm here too I guess. My mom wants me to get better so I can see my kid."

"I had a kid."

"You gave him up too?"

"He…uh…my girlfriend…there was an accident."

"Oh…I'm really sorry dude."

"Yeah…" I trailed off.

"Well we have training in the early AM so we should go to bed." He said and I nodded.

"Night Elliot."

"Night Kendall. Just remember, our families can visit in 3 months. That's not that far away. You can see your girlfriend then." He said before he turned the lights out.

Yeah...3 months.

**Mehh **


	13. Good to See You

The three months went by so slowly. I missed Hayley every day and I talked to her whenever I could. We were allowed to call home twice a month so my mom always made sure Hayley was there when I did call. Today was our "graduation" from boot camp and mine and Hayley's family were flying out to visit.

"Yo Knight, you ready to go?" Eliot asked and I nodded as I straightened my jacket a bit.

"I can't wait to see her."

"My ex-girlfriend is coming and so are the adoptive parents. I'm gonna hold my son again." He smiled and I was excited for him. He and I had gotten very close through boot camp.

"I want to meet him."

"You will. Are you and Hayley gonna try for a new baby tonight. Should I bunk with someone else?" he asked with a smirk.

"Very funny but you know I would never leave her alone with a baby." I said and he nodded.

"Everyone line up! We need to look impressive!" our Sargent Scott said.

**XxXxXxXxXX**

"Do you see them?" I asked Eliot.

"There's my girl!" he yelled and pointed to a blonde.

"There's my mom and sister." I pointed and they headed towards me.

"Kendall! You look so handsome." My mom said as she hugged me tight.

"I missed you big bro." Katie said as she squeezed me.

"I missed you too. Where's Hayley?" I asked.

"She went to the bathroom with Pam."

"Hey Kendall, nice to see you again." Tom said as he shook my hand.

"Guys this is Eliot. He and I are bunkmates."

"Hello." Eliot said quickly before he turned his attention back to his child. "I'm heading back to the room with them. We'll catch up later." He said as he headed off with his visitors.

"Hello Kendall! I've missed seeing you around the house." Pam said. I hugged her and she rubbed her hand against my back.

"I miss your cooking but Where's Hayley?" I asked.

"What's the rush?" Katie asked.

"I really missed her." I said with a pout and they chuckled as I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned and saw Hayley and my smile was ready to burst off my face.

"Hey." She whispered.

"hey." I replied as she jumped into my arms. I spun her around and kissed her repeatedly as she cried.

"I'm so glad you're here." I whispered into her ear.

"Me too."

"Do you guys want to go to the eating area?"

"I'm starved." Hayley said and I squeezed her hip.

"Let's go get you some food baby." I said and led them towards our dining area. We grabbed some food and sat at a table.

"So…what's new at home?"

"I'm class president." Katie smiled.

"Good for you, just know that you can't be a dictator."

"Yeah, yeah." She grumbled.

"How's college Hayley?" I asked.

"I…I dropped out." She mumbled as she bit into her sandwich.

"What? Why?"

"Cuz." She mumbled and I saw her parents and my mom shoot each other a glance.

"Hayley, I want honesty. Why did you dropout?"

"It was hard the first few months you were gone and I spent a lot of time home and then I didn't feel like going. I started to go to classes again after I went to therapy but some things changed and I thought it would be best if I dropped out."

"Will you go back?" I asked.

"Will you come home?" she shot back.

"You know I can't."

"Then I can't either." She retorted.

"I want you to get an education and be happy."

"I'm only happy when I'm around you." She said and I gave a small smile.

"Wait, what changed and made you drop out? You said therapy worked."

"Yeah but…I…"

"Tell me. You know I love you." I encouraged.

"Are you coming home now?" she asked.

"Actually…I'm going to Africa to aid them in strengthening their army and government."

"For how long?" she asked.

"I'm signed on for a year."

"But you'll miss everything!"

"Everything of what?"

"Our baby's life!" she said and I lost my breath.

"Baby…you're… you're pregnant?" I asked and she gave a slight nod.

"Three months. You're gonna miss everything. The first kick, the birth, the first smile."

"I…I can't not go." I said.

"But the first time you'll see our baby is when it will be three months old. That's if you…live." She whispered.

"I'm going to do whatever is possible to come home to you and our baby. Do you know what you're having?"

"I won't find out for another two months. I'll write you though."

"You better." I said and my mom smiled at the two of us.

"We're gonna give you some time alone." My mom said and she, Katie, Pam and Tom got up and left.

"I can't believe you're pregnant." I whispered as I wrapped my arms around her.

"That's why I dropped out. I couldn't stay in school. Uh…Jett's cousin was in my class and I didn't…I didn't feel comfortable." She explained.

"That's fine baby. I need you to be safe though okay? I won't be there and as much as that kills me to say, you need to take care of yourself."

"I will. I'm on a strict vitamin regimen and my dad has me going to the doctor every two weeks."

"Do…do you have a sonogram?" I asked. She nodded and reached into her purse.

"This was the most recent."

"It's beautiful. Can I keep it?" she nodded and I kissed the side of her head.

"It's healthy too. My mom sends me once a month to this massage place to get a mommy pampering session. It's to keep me calm and get rid of the bad vibes and toxins."

"That's so nice of her."

"Your mom was actually the first person I told. She started to cry."

"She's a sap." I whispered.

"I know we're not married but…I want the baby to have your last name. Just in case something happens…and…yeah…" she trailed off and I nodded.

"I know I've told you to not talk to me like I won't come back…but it's something that we have to consider now that you're pregnant so…please have the baby take my name." She nodded and wiped her eyes.

"I'm sorry for upsetting you."

"It's the hormones. They are kicking my butt."

"I love you." I whispered as I kissed her.

"I love you too. You'll come back to me right?"

"I'll always come back to you."

XxXxXxXxXx

"Sucks that they had to leave." Eliot said.

"Yeah but it was great seeing them. I get to be a daddy." I said and he smiled at me.

"So do I. The adoptive parents want me visit more often."

"Good for you man."

"ATTENTION!" our Sargent yelled.

"We have been called into action. We deploy tomorrow. Get yourself prepared. Call anybody you feel you should talk to. Lights out early!" he yelled.

"no, no, no no no." I mumbled and Eliot ran to the phone. I waited until he was done and quickly dialed Hayley.

"Hello?" a tired voice responded.

"Hey baby. Did I wake you?"

"Yeah, this pregnancy is taking a lot out of me."

"I'm sorry babe. I wish I could be there with you."

"I know. So what's with the unexpected phone call?"

"I have some news."

"What's wrong?"

"I'm being deployed tomorrow."

"Oh…"

"I don't know when I'll be able to talk to you again but I want you to know that I'm coming home. I will not die. I will make it home in time for the birth of our baby. I promise you."

"I love you."

"I love you too and I love our baby. Tell my family I love them too."

"I will."

"I have to go but stay strong for me."

"I'll try."

"See you soon baby."

"Bye Kendall."

I hung up and hoped that wouldn't be the last time I talked to her.


	14. Shock

**One chapter left after this one! Please review! The reviews for last chapter were really nice!**

**6 MONTH TIME SKIP**

"I missed the birth of my child for this." I mumbled.

"You called her?"

"No, but if I did my math right, her due date was last month."

"Well, congratulations man."

"Thanks." I mumbled.

"If we don't' make it, we need to promise each other to protect each other's family." Eliot said as we ducked behind the barrier.

"I promise."

"Promise" he said as we attacked.

"GET DOWN!"

"Ahhhh!" and then everything went black.

**XxXxXXxXXxX**

**HAYLEY POV**

"Shhh, calm down. Mommy is making your bottle right now." I whispered.

"Do you need help?" my dad asked.

"No, I need to do this on my own."

"You're not alone though."

"Without Kendall I am." I whispered and he sighed.

"He'll call soon."

"He hasn't called in months. I need to prepare for the worst."

"But don't take it out on the baby." he said and I nodded.

"Here you go." I whispered and giggled as the baby smacked its lips together.

"Daddy will be home soon Alexander." I whispered.

**XxXxXxXxXx**

**1 YEAR LATER**

"Mama!" Alexander yelled.

"Hey baby, how was my little man today?" I asked. I was in college now and my dad watched him during the day for me.

"He was a joy. He helped me file papers" my dad said as he pointed to the giant pile of papers on the floor.

"Do you want me to pick them up?" I asked as I wiped some crumbs from Alex's face.

"I'll get them later. Have you heard from you know who?" he asked and I shook my head.

"I haven't heard anything in over a year."

"Does Alex know about him?"

"I show him pictures. I'm just glad that he's young enough not to fully understand it yet." I said as the doorbell rang. My dad went to see who it was while I bopped Alexander around.

"Uh…Hayley. Someone is here to see you."

"Let's go see who it is." I said to Alex and he smiled at me.

"Who are you?" I asked when I saw the man at the door. He was in a button down and he didn't have an arm.

"I'm Eliot; I was Kendall's friend in the army."

"Oh…Eliot! I remember you. How are you? Please come in!" I said

"Is that the little one?" he asked.

"Yeah this is Alexander."

"He's cute. Kendall talked a lot about having a baby."

"Yeah….uh…where is Kendall?" I asked.

"Well…we were in an accident about a year ago. A bomb went off. That's how I lost my arm."

"Where's Kendall?" I asked as Alex laid his head on my shoulder.

"He was burned really badly. They took him to base camp and I went to the nearest hospital. We were separated. I don't know what happened to him. He made me promise that I'd protect you if he didn't make it."

"But you don't know if he's dead."

"I can only assume that he didn't make it. I'm sorry. He wanted you to have this though." He handed me a pin like medal.

"What is this?" I asked as I wiped the tears from my eyes.

"It's his purple heart. The Sargent wanted him to have it. He…Uh…protected me when the bomb went off. He covered my body with his so the only damage I got was losing my arm. He took most of the force."

"Oh…I…I need some air." I whispered as I put Alex on the ground and went outside.

"Hayley…I didn't mean to upset you." Eliot said as he followed me outside.

"No…I know I appreciate you telling me but…this fucking sucks. Like I haven't been through enough already. Alex won't know his father."

"He may not be dead…he might be so I just wanted to fill you in on what happened."

"Thank you."

"I'll come back and visit often so I know you're okay. Kendall loved you."

"I loved him." I whispered as Eliot nodded.

"He would have loved Alexander too." He said before he left.

"Are you okay?" my dad asked as I walked back into the house.

"I need to go home and have a nice cry and then I will face reality and tell his mom."

"Why don't you stay here?"

"I need to be alone right now. I'll call you later." I whispered and he nodded. He helped me collect some of Alexander's toys and get them packed in the car. I drove home and put Alex down for a nap before I completely broke down crying in the living room.

"Why did you have to go? I told you not too. Why didn't you listen to me?" I mumbled knowing that he wouldn't be able to hear me.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXXxX**

**1 YEAR LATER**

"Mommy! Can I have a cookie?"

"They're on the top shelf. Just take one!" I yelled. Katie was doing homework while Kendall's mom was sipping her tea next to me.

"He looks so much like Kendall."

"I know. When he sleeps he looks exactly like him." I said.

"Does he ask about his dad?"

"All the time. I tell him that he is somewhere special. He doesn't fully understand yet."

"Is it hard for you?"

"Sometimes I stay up and night and think of what life would have been like if he didn't go. If Jett didn't hurt me."

"I don't blame you for anything. You know that right."

"I know. I hope Alex doesn't blame me."

"He won't."

"Alexander means defender of man." I said and she nodded.

"I knew there was a reason you chose that name."

"It was the only name I liked."

"Kendall would have liked it." The doorbell rang and I got up to get it.

"I got it! I got it!" Alexander yelled as he came to the door with me. I helped him open the door and smiled at the person in front of me.

"Hello, how can I help you?"

"Hayley?"

"Yeah, who are you?"

"I can't believe you don't remember me."

"Oh my God….Kendall."

**Did you like it?**


	15. Stay

**Last Chapter! Thank you all for the support and all the reviews! Please review this last chapter! I'm home sick right now cuz I got 2 teeth pulled yesterday. They were so infected that they broke holes into my sinus and now I'm swollen with a black eye. Ouch. Please review!**

"Can I come in?" I asked Hayley. She was curvier than the last time I saw her and her hair was long again. I looked down at the little boy that came up to about her knee and smiled at him.

"Sure…uhh…yeah." She mumbled and I followed her inside.

"I've missed you." I said and she nodded.

"I missed you too…Katie! Jen! Someone is here to see us!" she called out and they came running in.

"Big Brother!" Katie screamed before she lunged at me and my mom followed closely behind. Hayley picked the little boy up who laid his head on her shoulder.

"I missed you guys so much." I whispered as I wiped the tears from my eyes.

"I bet you want to talk to Hayley alone. We can talk later." My mom said as she went and grabbed the boy from Hayley. Katie followed behind and left Hayley and I alone in her living room.

"So…" she said and pulled her sleeves down a bit.

"I bet you have a lot of questions and I know this was a surprise but God I just wanted to see you and meet our kid."

"Alexander."

"Beautiful name. He's handsome from what I saw." I said and she nodded.

"It means defender of men." She explained as she motioned for me to sit on the couch.

"Something or someone was protecting over me when I was over there." I said.

"Eliot said you protected him from the force of the bomb. What happened to you?"

"I have scars and discolored skin all over my back and arms. I had to get my knee replaced and I got some surgery done on my brain and heart. I'm okay though. Everything went well and I only have some pain here and there."

"That was a long time ago he said. Why didn't you call?"

"I slipped into a coma after the brain surgery."

"I'm so sorry."

"It's okay baby. I'm all better and I only get the occasional migraine. I'm home now…that is…if I'm allowed to call this home."

"Don't be stupid." She said with a small smile and put her hand on my knee.

"I'm really sorry for leaving you."

"I hated you when you left and I was angry but when I thought you weren't coming home I felt so guilty. Now…now I'm just glad you came home."

"I kept my promise." I said and she wiped a few tears away.

"Yeah…yeah you did." She said as she leaned over and kissed me. I missed the feeling of her lips against mine and I just missed her in general. We both pulled away with smiles on our faces.

"So, do you want to meet your son?" she asked.

"Does he know who I am?"

"I've talked about you." She said.

"I hope he likes me."

"He will. Alex! Can you come to mommy?" she called out and I heard small feet running. He had a pair of vans on and I chuckled.

"What?" he asked.

"Well mommy wants to introduce you to someone special."

"Who?" he asked as he turned towards me.

"This is your daddy." She said and then he threw himself into Hayley's arms.

"Sometimes he gets shy." She explained and I nodded.

"Can you let go of me?" she asked him but he shook his head. I gave a small smile and she got up and started bopping him up and down a bit. He was giggling a bit but refused to look at me.

"Should I go?" I asked and she gave a small nod.

"Go talk to your mom and your sister. My dad and mom should be home soon so they'll have some questions."

"I'm sorry I upset him."

"It's not your fault. He's just being silly." She said as she tickled Alexander.

"I didn't mean to scare you bud." I said as I walked past him and for the first time he looked right at me.

"He's got my eyes." I murmured and I saw Hayley smile.

**XxXxXxXxXxXx**

"We're just glad you came back. We were worried about Hayley for a little bit." Pam said as we ate dinner. Alex was still clinging to Hayley and I felt bad. This was probably a big change for him.

"My family was the only thing getting me through it."

"What was it like?" Katie asked and I shook my head.

"No…not right now. Not in front of Alexander." I said sternly and she nodded.

"Can you please loosen your grip a little?" Hayley asked him but he slammed his head into her shoulder.

"Mac and Cheese is my favorite. I may steal some from you." I said to Alex and he sheepishly looked up at me. I took a forkful and made a small moan at the taste.

"Tastes so good."

"That's my noodles!" he said with a giggle.

"Well eat some more before I finish them." I said and he nodded and I handed the fork to him. He started eating and Hayley was beaming.

"Well we're going to go to the movies later so you guys can have some family time." Tom said in regards to Pam, Katie and my mom.

"I finished daddy!" Alex said and my heart burst on the spot.

"That's great. I'm so proud of you!" I said as I tried to sneakily wipe the tears that welled.

"No sad." He said and I nodded.

"These are happy tears." I explained and he nodded.

"We're going to head out. It's great to have you back Kendall." Pam said and I smiled at her.

"It's great to be back."

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

"Can you please let me put on your pjs?" Hayley asked Alexander. He was fascinated with me and kept on touching me and showing me his toys. He was opening up.

"No."

"Will you let daddy put your pjs on?" she asked and he gave a small nod. She handed me him and directed me towards his bedroom.

"Pick out whatever you want to wear."

"Can I wear this?" he asked holding up a shirt with a monkey on it.

"Let me help you get it on." I said and I helped him change into his pajamas.

"Daddy…where were you before?" he asked.

"I was…uh…away but I'm not going anywhere. I'm gonna stay right here with you."

"Really?"

"Really." I smiled at him and he came and hugged me. I squeezed him tight.

"I love you bud."

"Love you too daddy."

**XxXxXxXxXx**

"He looks just like you when he sleeps."

"He is like my mini me. "

"I'm glad you're back." She whispered as we left Alexander's room.

"I'm sorry I had to go but I was honorably discharged and I won't have to go back."

"What are you going to do now?" she asked as she snuggled against me on the couch.

"I think I'll go to college and get a job. The army is giving me benefits like health insurance and dental but you can't get them until we're married…" I trailed off with a small smirk.

"Oh really now." She giggled and I kissed the top of her head.

"I love you." I said to her as I stared into her eyes.

"I love you more." She squeezed my waist.

Through everything we went through and all the hell that we faced…we made it through. I was glad to be back with my family and happy I could move forward.

"What's going on in that head of yours?" she whispered against my chest.

"Nothing…nothing at all."

"Well that's nothing new." She joked and I rolled my eyes.

"You're still so funny." I said.

"And you're still the same person I fell in love with back in high school." She murmured.

"And you're still my soul mate."

"I know I keep saying this but…I'm really glad you're back." she said as she closed her eyes.

"Yeah…me too." I said. I fell asleep holding my girlfriend with my son sleeping in the other room. I was happy I was back with my family and I was glad I was never going to leave them.

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